I've read an interest post recently talking about hurtful phrases you would hear from people who are totally ignorant of what your depression disorder is.
Ignorance maybe bliss, but not when you are constantly hurt by heartless and thoughtless remarks.
So what are the top five of the most hurtful comments you might get about your depression?
1. Just snap out of it! How many people think that your depression is a mere whim and not a serious illness? That you are being pessimistic and simply need to talk yourself out of it? This phrase is on par with pull yourself together! Just makes me want to kick something every time I hear it. You do not snap out of it, people. It's like saying to snap out of your cancer or brain tumour... You find causes of your depression and treat it like any other illness.
2. Get a life or(my favourite) get a job! Excuse me. Depression has nothing to do with boredom or idleness. More often it's caused by constant stress, anxieties and exhaustion, which means your life is so full of it, you can't cope anymore.
3. Stop feeling sorry for yourself! Another misconception which is difficult to fight with. We don't just sit and feel sorry for ourselves, chaps. We simply struggle to find energy to be happy. We feel repulsed and ashamed by this condition, we lose self-respect, and we don't want to be a burden to our friends, family and loved ones. There are many complicated reasons to be depressed: chemical or hormonal imbalance, emotional or physical trauma, it might be hereditary, etc. Whatever the reason, the treatment for depression is a delicate process built of several components. Stop feeling sorry for yourself just doesn't cover it.
4. Stop being depressed, cheer up! It doesn't really help you, when people treat your depression lightly. I've heard variation of this phrase so many times, I lost count. Although the essence of advice is true, depending on severity of your depression, there are ways for you to make yourself feel happier, the way the message is delivered just tells you that the person saying it doesn't understand or doesn't want to understand what's happening to you.
5. You have no excuse to be depressed! This is my old-time favourite. People think that if you've got it all (by all I mean something that they don't have) you automatically should be happy. Besides there are some kinds of depression and anxiety that always puzzle people like SAD (seasonal affective disorder) or postnatal depression.
They way I look at it, if you explain that your depression have chemical or hormonal basis, make it look as scientific as possible, people's attitude changes and they start treating your condition as illness.
I would like to hear the remarks you had to listen to and how you've dealt with them, so please share!