Are you feeling sick inside yet simultaneously wracked with guilt at the amount of jealousy you are actually feeling from news of yet another pregnancy. Here you are, struggling to get pregnant when everyone around you seems to be, maybe feeling disgusted with yourself for feeling this way yet unable to change it.
There can come the endless barrage of questions and hurtful statements such as:
"when will it be your turn?"
"don't you want any children?"
"you're not getting any younger."
Or even perhaps, "why did you wait so long to try?"
The list is endless. How have you even coped, when all you have ever wanted was to become parents and hold your own baby in your arms.
Then can come possible negative emotional aspects such as:
- are you beginning to feel inadequate as a wife, unable to give him a child?
- do you even feel the same about having a child anymore and does he even want a child?
- you are ovulating regularly each and every month.
- your blood tests have come back absolutely normal.
- there are no apparent signs of endometriosis.
- a laparoscopy has concluded no underlying abnormality that could be preventing you from conceiving.
- his sperm count is excellent, as is the motility.
- you are both healthy with no underlying problems in either one of you.
So why are you struggling to get pregnant?
These are some of the questions and emotions you may be going through but what about things you can do right now?
- Read as much as you can about infertility, ignorance is certainly not bliss, you are struggling to get pregnant yet inadvertently at the mercy of the information and advice that is being bombarded at you, due to lack of awareness.
- Never forget both you and your partner are in this struggle together, he knows what is happening because he is on exactly the same path as you. Feed from the comfort and reassurance from each other.
In your struggle to get pregnant it is very easy to lose sight of one another, they can become invisible, why not suggest a movie, perhaps a night out, things that you can do together as a couple.
- It is not about denying the pain of infertility but if you cannot express it outwardly why not try channeling your emotions by writing them down. It is a great way to release all the anger and disappointments.
After you have written them down burn the piece of paper if it helps. This is symbolic and very therapeutic as it can help release built up emotions.
- Let people into your world, give family and friends a chance to help you instead of shutting them out. On your own you are but one person, however, if you put one and one together it becomes eleven, remember that there is definitely strength in numbers.
- However, if nothing is helping, seek professional help, there is no shame in confiding with a stranger, that is what they are there for.
These are just some issues couples may face regarding infertility but my belief is just because you have been struggling to get pregnant and been told you are infertile does not mean another will also.
No one can predict the future but you can do everything in your power to change it for the good.
It might simply just mean the method needs to change.